In ancient
Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto
himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.
And Dot Com was a
comely woman, Large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she
was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband,
"Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst
trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as
though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said,
"How, dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and
drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will
reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and
delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and
decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.
And the drums rang
out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top
price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighboring
countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that
only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound
(MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures -
Hebrew To The People (HTTP).
And the young men did take to Dot Com's
trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic
Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.
And lo, the land was
so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no
one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer,
Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he
did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates'
drumheads
and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have
started is being taken over by others."
And Abraham looked out over the
Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known.
He said, "We need a name
that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew
Owner Operators."
"YAHOO," said Abraham.
And because it was Dot's
idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the
young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using
Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.
It soon became known
as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
That is how
it all began.
And that's the truth. (Sorry
Algore)
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